IELTS Writing Tasks 1-2 Grading Reports, Date: June 8, 2025
IELTS
Writing Task 1 Grading Report
Student: Bai Plu
Task: Table - News Consumption by Medium and Age
Group
Target Band: 7.0
|
Overall
Estimated Band Score |
6.0 |
|
Task
Achievement |
7.0 |
|
Coherence
and Cohesion |
6.0 |
|
Lexical
Resource (Vocabulary) |
6.0 |
|
Grammatical
Range and Accuracy |
6.0 |
The student has successfully understood the main
requirements of the task. They have correctly identified the overall trends and
reported relevant data to support their points. The structure is logical.
However, the response is held back from a Band 7 by noticeable, repetitive
errors in grammar and a somewhat limited range of vocabulary for describing
trends. Cohesion could also be improved with better sentence linking and
punctuation.
Detailed
Assessment by Criterion
1.
Task Achievement (Estimated Band: 7.0)
Strengths:
- Clear Overview: You have an
excellent overview that correctly identifies the two most important
trends: the decline of traditional media and the rise of digital sources.
You also correctly point out the generational divide ("Most of
younger people moved toward digital platforms"). This is a key
requirement for a Band 7.
- Key Feature Selection: You have successfully selected and reported on key data points for
all four media types and across different age groups.
- Word Count: The
response (213 words) is well over the 150-word minimum, allowing for
sufficient development.
Areas for Improvement:
- Redundant Conclusion: The final paragraph ("In conclusion...") largely repeats
the overview. In Task 1, a separate conclusion is not necessary if you
have a strong overview at the beginning. These words could be used to add
more specific comparisons in the body paragraphs.
- Develop Comparisons: While you report data, you could make more direct comparisons. For
example, you could contrast how social media became the #1 source for the
young, while television, despite its decline, remained the top source for
the 51+ group.
2.
Coherence and Cohesion (Estimated Band: 6.0)
Strengths:
- Logical Paragraphing: The information is grouped logically. You have a clear
introduction/overview, a paragraph for traditional media, and a paragraph
for digital media. This structure is very effective.
- Clear Progression: The reader
can follow your ideas from the beginning to the end without confusion.
Areas for Improvement:
- Punctuation and Linking: There are consistent punctuation errors that affect the flow of the
text. You often miss the space after a comma or a period (e.g.,
"...by 2025. in the...", "...social media more,which went
up...").
- Linking Words: Your use of
linking words is okay ("Similarly," "On the other
hand") but could be more varied. Many sentences are simply joined
with "and" or start without a clear connector to the previous
idea, making the text feel slightly disjointed.
3.
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary) (Estimated Band: 6.0)
Strengths:
- Task-Specific Vocabulary: You use relevant vocabulary such as "percentage," "age
group," "media," "source," and
"generation."
- Attempt at Trend Language: You use words like "dropped," "decreased," and
"increased."
Areas for Improvement:
- Repetitive and Informal Phrasing: You repeatedly use informal phrasal verbs like "went down,"
"fall down," "rise up," and "went up." To
reach Band 7, you need more formal and varied vocabulary.
- Instead of "went
down," try: declined, decreased,
fell, saw a reduction.
- Instead of "rise up,"
try: rose, increased, grew,
surged, soared.
- Word Form Errors: There are
some errors in word forms. For example, "dramatically fall"
should be "a dramatic fall" (adjective
+ noun) or "fell dramatically"
(verb + adverb).
- Precision: Use more
precise language. "Younger people" is good, but "the
youngest demographic" or "those aged 16-30" is more formal
and specific.
4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Estimated Band: 6.0)
Strengths:
- Clarity: Despite the
errors, your meaning is generally clear.
- Simple and Compound Sentences: You can produce accurate simple and compound sentences (e.g.,
"Online news sites usage among 16-30 year olds increased from 40% to
60%...").
Areas for Improvement:
- Verb Tense Errors: This is a
recurring issue. The data is from 2015 and 2025 (future from the
perspective of the data, but past events being described in a report).
It's best to use the simple past tense when discussing the changes that occurred over that period.
- "The Table illustrated"
-> "The table illustrates"
(The table is a static object you are looking at now).
- "newspaper also has a..."
-> "newspaper also had..."
or "saw"
- "usage also fall
down" -> "usage also fell"
- "there is a
rise" -> "there was a
rise"
- Sentence Structure Variety: Your sentences are often simple. To score a 7, you must demonstrate a
wider range of complex structures, using clauses with "while,"
"whereas," "although," and participial phrases (e.g.,
"...declining to 50%").
- Articles and Plurals: There are some minor errors with articles and singular/plural nouns
(e.g., "16-30 age groups"
should be "age group").
Corrected
and Improved Version (Aiming for Band 7.5+)
Here is your response rewritten to a Band 7.5+
level. Pay attention to the vocabulary (in bold), grammar, and sentence
structures used.
The table illustrates the percentage of people
across three different age demographics who consumed news via four distinct
media types in the years 2015 and 2025.
Overall, the data reveals a clear and significant
shift in news consumption habits over the decade. There was a marked
decline in the popularity of traditional media, namely television and
newspapers, across all age groups. Conversely, digital platforms such as
online news sites and social media feeds witnessed substantial growth,
particularly among the younger generations.
Regarding traditional sources, television viewership
decreased in all cohorts. For instance, its popularity among those aged
51 and over fell from a high of 70% in 2015 to 50% in 2025, although it
remained the preferred medium for this group. A similar trend was seen with
print newspapers, where readership for the oldest demographic plummeted
from 45% to just 20%. The drop was even more pronounced for the 16-30 age
group, where newspaper reading became negligible, falling from 10% to
only 2%.
In stark contrast, digital media consumption soared.
Online news sites became more popular in every age bracket, with the figure for
31-50 year olds rising from 30% to 50%. The most dramatic change,
however, was the surge in social media use for news. For the 16-30
demographic, it solidified its dominance, jumping from 55% to 78%,
making it by far the most used source. Meanwhile, its usage also more
than doubled for the 31-50 age group, climbing from 20% to 45%.
Key
Recommendations for Reaching Band 7:
- Fix a "Top 3" Grammar Error List: Your most frequent errors are: 1. Verb Tense
(is/was, fall/fell), 2. Punctuation
(spaces after commas), 3. Word Forms
(dramatic/dramatically). Focus on mastering these first.
- Upgrade Your Trend Vocabulary: Instead of "go up" and "go down," learn and
practice 5-7 formal alternatives (e.g., increase, rise, grow,
surge | decrease, decline, fall,
drop, plummet).
- Vary Sentence Beginnings: Don't start every sentence with the subject. Use phrases like
"Regarding [topic]...", "In contrast...", "For
the [age group]...".
- Use 'Whereas' and 'While': Practice writing sentences that directly compare two pieces of data
in one go. For example: "Whereas
television was the most popular source for older people, social media was
the dominant choice for the young."
IELTS
Writing Task 2 Grading Report
Student: Bai Plu
Task: Discuss Both Views & Give Opinion
(Technology in Classrooms)
Target Band: 7.0
|
Overall
Estimated Band Score |
6.0 |
|
Task
Response |
7.0 |
|
Coherence
and Cohesion |
6.0 |
|
Lexical
Resource (Vocabulary) |
6.0 |
|
Grammatical
Range and Accuracy |
6.0 |
This is a strong attempt that successfully fulfills
the core requirements of the question. The student understands the topic,
discusses both sides of the argument, and provides a clear opinion. The essay's
structure is logical and easy to follow. The final score is limited to a 6.0
primarily by language-related issues: a somewhat basic range of vocabulary and
repetitive sentence structures, combined with several noticeable grammatical
errors. The ideas are worthy of a Band 7, but the language used to express them
needs development.
Detailed
Assessment by Criterion
1.
Task Response (Estimated Band: 7.0)
Strengths:
- Addresses All Parts of the Prompt: This is the essay's greatest strength. You have clearly discussed the
benefits of technology (Paragraph 2), the drawbacks (Paragraph 3), and
provided your own clear opinion (Paragraph 4). This fulfills the main
requirement for a Band 7 in this area.
- Clear Position: Your
opinion is stated clearly in the final paragraph: technology is beneficial
but must be used in a balanced and correct way.
- Relevant Ideas: All your
arguments are relevant to the question. You provide good supporting points
like interactivity, distraction, health concerns, and the loss of critical
thinking skills.
Areas for Improvement:
- To score higher than a 7, the opinion could be
introduced more strongly in the thesis statement and woven more seamlessly
throughout the essay, rather than appearing mostly in the final paragraph.
However, for a Band 7 target, your current approach is effective.
2.
Coherence and Cohesion (Estimated Band: 6.0)
Strengths:
- Logical Structure: The essay
is well-organized into four clear paragraphs, each with a distinct purpose
(Intro, For, Against, Opinion/Conclusion).
- Clear Topic Sentences: Each body paragraph begins with a sentence that clearly introduces
its main idea (e.g., "On one hand, there are many great
things...", "However, there are also cons...").
- Use of Linking Words: You use a range of basic linking words and phrases like "On one
hand," "However," "First," "Next," and
"For instance."
Areas for Improvement:
- Final Paragraph Organization: Your final paragraph combines your opinion, a proposed solution, and
a conclusion. It feels a little rushed. A stronger structure might be to
have a dedicated paragraph for your opinion and then a separate, brief
concluding paragraph.
- Sentence-Level Flow: Sometimes the connection between sentences is a bit abrupt. For
example, "They can find their information faster with internet
searching, also it helps speed up students' learning by helping with
technology material." The second half of this sentence is slightly
repetitive and awkwardly connected with "also."
3.
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary) (Estimated Band: 6.0)
Strengths:
- Clarity: Your
vocabulary is sufficient to make your meaning clear without causing
misunderstanding.
- Some Good Topic Vocabulary: You use relevant words like "interactive,"
"applications," "concentrating," "Myopia,"
and "posture."
Areas for Improvement:
- Limited Range: You rely on
simple, common words ("good," "great things,"
"problems," "ruin," "hurt,"
"help"). To reach Band 7, you need to use more precise and
academic vocabulary.
- Awkward Phrasing: Some of
your phrasing is unnatural.
- "great things from using" -> "significant advantages of using"
- "ruin the traditional educational system"
-> "undermine traditional teaching methods"
- "stop student development on basic
skills" -> "hinder the development of
fundamental skills"
- Repetition: The word
"technology" is used very frequently. Try using synonyms like
"digital tools," "these devices," or "online
platforms."
4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Estimated Band: 6.0)
Strengths:
- Control of Simple Structures: You can write simple and compound sentences with a good degree of
accuracy.
- Attempt at Complexity: You use some complex structures with "if" and
"that," which is good (e.g., "...applications that help the
students understand...").
Areas for Improvement:
- Repetitive Sentence Structures: Many sentences follow a simple "Subject + Verb + Object"
pattern. To achieve a Band 7, you must demonstrate a wider variety of
sentence structures, including more complex sentences using while, although, and whereas to connect ideas.
- Noticeable Grammatical Errors: There are several errors that, while not preventing understanding,
are frequent enough to keep the score at a 6.
- Articles: Inconsistent use of "the" (e.g., "using the technology," "improve vocabulary
skills," "the student
might use...").
- Word Forms: "bended neck" -> "a bent neck";
"sit posture" -> "sitting posture."
- Awkward Constructions: "is becoming more used" -> "is being used more frequently."
- Spelling: "its is how we use it" -> "it is how we use it."
Corrected
and Improved Version (Aiming for Band 7.5+)
Here is your essay rewritten to a Band 7.5+ level.
Notice the improved vocabulary (in bold), varied
sentence structures, and corrected grammar.
Currently, the integration of digital tools
such as tablets and online resources into educational settings is accelerating.
While some people advocate for this trend, believing it is highly beneficial
for learning, others contend that it can be a source of distraction and
may undermine traditional academic skills.
On the one hand, incorporating technology into
classrooms offers undeniable advantages. Firstly, it can make lessons
significantly more engaging and interactive. By utilizing educational
applications, videos, and gamified quizzes, students can often grasp complex
concepts more easily than through textbooks alone. For instance, language
learning apps can foster rapid vocabulary acquisition in a more
stimulating way. Secondly, these tools provide students with instant access to
a vast repository of information. The ability to conduct swift internet
research facilitates independent learning and can expedite the
completion of assignments, allowing for a deeper exploration of topics.
On the other hand, critics rightly point to the potential
drawbacks of an over-reliance on technology. A primary concern is that
these devices are a significant source of distraction. If not properly
monitored, students may use them for social media or gaming instead of
concentrating on the lesson, which negatively impacts their focus and knowledge
retention. Another valid point is the potential detrimental effect on
students' health, as increased screen time is linked to issues like myopia and
poor posture. Perhaps the most serious concern, however, is the erosion of
fundamental cognitive skills. If students constantly rely on search engines
for answers, they may fail to develop the capacity for deep critical thinking
and independent problem-solving. Furthermore, the decline in handwriting
practice in favour of typing could affect fine motor skills.
In my opinion, while the arguments against
technology have merit, its benefits are too significant to ignore. I believe
the solution lies not in rejecting these tools, but in their strategic and
balanced implementation. The key is to treat technology as a supplement to,
not a replacement for, traditional teaching methods. Educators and parents must
guide young learners on how to use these platforms responsibly, teaching them
digital literacy and self-discipline. Ultimately, whether technology is a
constructive tool or a hindrance depends entirely on how it is managed and
integrated into the curriculum.
Key
Recommendations for Reaching Band 7:
- Expand Your Vocabulary: Create a notebook for "upgraded" words. For every simple
word you use ("good," "bad," "big"), find
three more academic alternatives (e.g., beneficial, advantageous, constructive | detrimental, harmful, problematic).
- Practice Sentence Variety: Focus on writing more complex sentences. Start sentences with clauses
like "While some argue
that...", "Although
technology offers...", and "If educators
implement...". This is a core requirement for a GRA score of 7.
- Proofread for Your Common Errors: You have consistent issues with articles ("a,"
"the") and verb forms. Spend the last 2-3 minutes of your
writing time only looking for these
specific mistakes.
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