Grading Report: IELTS Writing Task 1

 

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Overall Band Score: 4.0

Criterion	Assessed Band	Comments
Task Achievement (TA)	4.5	The response is significantly under the 150-word minimum (~125 words), which incurs a penalty. While there is an attempt to describe the graph and an overview is present, key features are missing (e.g., the fluctuation of the Philippines' trend). Some data is inaccurate (Philippines starting at 40%), and irrelevant information ("tourism") is included.
Coherence & Cohesion (CC)	4.0	The response follows the provided paragraph structure, but the ideas do not progress logically. The overview repeats the introduction, and Body Paragraph 2 is underdeveloped. There is very limited and often inaccurate use of cohesive devices ("As you can see," is too informal).
Lexical Resource (LR)	4.0	Vocabulary is basic and repetitive ("percentage," "increased"). There are noticeable errors in word choice that make the meaning unclear (e.g., "most peak number," "population in town"). The vocabulary is insufficient to describe the nuances of the graph.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA)	4.0	The response relies almost entirely on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors that impede communication (e.g., subject-verb agreement "Philippines have," incorrect sentence structure "the predictions it can be possible that...").

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Critical Review of the Response

This response shows a basic understanding of the task by attempting to follow the provided structure. The writer correctly identified that all countries show an upward trend and that Malaysia becomes the highest while Thailand is the lowest.

However, the response is severely limited by several key factors:

Under Word Count: At approximately 125 words, the response fails to meet the minimum requirement of 150 words. This automatically limits the Task Achievement score.

Inaccurate Data & Missing Details: Key data points are misread (e.g., the Philippines' starting point was ~32%, not 40%). Important trends, like the initial decline and subsequent fluctuation for the Philippines, were completely missed.

Inclusion of Opinion/External Knowledge: The sentence, "Nowadays Thailand has many tourism and population in town..." is a critical error. In Task 1, you must only report the data you see. You cannot explain why the numbers might be the way they are or bring in outside information.

Weak Language: The vocabulary and grammar are not strong enough to describe the data effectively. Phrases like "most peak number" are unnatural, and sentence structures are very simple and contain frequent errors, making the text difficult to follow.

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Tips and Tricks to Achieve a Band 6 Score

Based on this performance, here are the most important things to focus on to reach a Band 6.

1. Prioritise the Overview and Word Count

Your overview is the single most important part of your response. It must be clear and accurate. You also must write over 150 words.

Trick: Plan to write two detailed body paragraphs with 2-3 sentences each, describing 2 countries per paragraph. This easily gets you past 150 words. For this graph, a natural grouping is (Malaysia & Indonesia) and (Philippines & Thailand).

2. Master the "Language of Graphs"

You need specific vocabulary to describe trends. Do not use informal language like "As you can see" or "got."

Trick: Memorise and practice using these key phrases:

For Upward Trends: an increase, a rise, a growth, to increase, to rise, to grow, to climb.

For Highs/Lows: peaked at, reached a high of, stood at, hit a low of.

For Projections: is projected to, is forecast to, is expected to.

For Describing Speed: a dramatic/sharp rise, a steady/gradual increase.

Correct Starting Phrase: "The line graph illustrates/compares..."

3. Be a Precise 'Data Reporter'

Your only job is to report the numbers and trends on the page.

Tip: When you write a sentence, check if you have included a (What), (Where), and (When).

Weak: "Malaysia has increased more and more."

Band 6+: "The percentage of the urban population in Malaysia (What) stood at approximately 30% (Where) in 1970 (When)."

4. Build Better Sentences

To score a 6, you need a mix of simple and complex sentences. Use connecting words to link ideas together.

Trick: Combine two simple facts using words like while, whereas, and in contrast.

Simple: "Malaysia started at 30%. The Philippines started at 32%."

Complex (Band 6+): "While Malaysia's urban population began at 30%, the figure for the Philippines was slightly higher at 32%."

Simple: "Malaysia’s rate grew dramatically. Indonesia’s rate also grew."

Complex (Band 6+): "Malaysia's rate of urbanisation grew dramatically, and a similar upward trend was seen in Indonesia."

By focusing on these four key areas—word count, specific graph language, precise data reporting, and sentence variety—you can effectively move your score from the Band 4 level to the Band 6 target.