Official Examiner Grading Report for Putter


Official Examiner Grading Report for Putter (Enhanced Version)

Date of Report: 24 May 2025

Examiner Location: Phitsanulok, Thailand

IELTS Writing Task 1: Report Writing

Overall Band Score: 4.5

Criteria

Achieved Band

Examiner Comments

Task Achievement (TA)

4.5

The response attempts to address the task but coverage is limited. Some key features are identified (fresh coffee is lowest, Adelaide is an anomaly), but they are not well-developed. The report is significantly under the 150-word count and includes irrelevant information (speculation about Sydney's population), which detracts from the main purpose of summarizing the data.

Coherence & Cohesion (CC)

4.0

The response lacks a clear and logical progression. There is no clear overview statement summarizing the main trends. Information is presented in a disorganized way, and the lack of proper paragraphing makes it difficult to follow the main points. Basic linking words are used, but they are not always effective.

Lexical Resource (LR)

4.5

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive (e.g., "people," "bar charts," "number"). There is very little use of specific language needed to describe trends and data (e.g., proportion, figure, approximately, significantly higher).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA)

4.0

The response uses only a very limited range of sentence structures, relying on simple sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors in sentence formation, subject-verb agreement, and capitalization, which cause some difficulty for the reader.

 

IELTS Writing Task 2: Essay Writing

Overall Band Score: 4.5

Criteria

Achieved Band

Examiner Comments

Task Response (TR)

4.5

The response only partially addresses the prompt. It focuses on the reasons for owning a home but fails to address the second part of the question: whether this is a "positive or negative situation." The ideas presented are relevant but are not well-developed or supported with clear explanations. The position is not clearly stated in the introduction and the essay is under the 250-word count.

Coherence & Cohesion (CC)

4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure and is not organized into logical paragraphs; it is presented as one large block of text. This makes the argument very difficult to follow. There is no clear progression of ideas from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource (LR)

4.5

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive ("owner of a house," "rental house"). There are some errors in word choice (e.g., "purchase the... bill," "keep expenses"). More precise, topic-specific vocabulary is needed.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA)

4.0

The response consists mainly of simple sentences. There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors that interfere with meaning and make some parts of the essay confusing to read (e.g., "no one will keep expenses from their rental house").


Action Plan for Improvement: Your Enhanced Guide to a Band 6.5

Hello Putter, thank you for your submission. You have made a start in identifying some key ideas, which is a good foundation. To reach a Band 6.5, we need to focus on fundamental areas. This enhanced report adds more specific strategies and examples to your original feedback, creating a clearer roadmap for your success.

Your Strengths

  • Identifying Key Details: In Task 1, you successfully identified two of the most important features: that fresh coffee was the least popular option and that Adelaide was a key exception. This shows you have the ability to analyze the chart for important information.
  • Using Personal Experience: In Task 2, you correctly tried to use your own knowledge ("I am the one who has my own house") to support your points, which is a requirement of the task.
  • Understanding the Core Topic: In both tasks, you understood the general subject matter you needed to write about.

Main Weaknesses to Address

  1. Task Fulfillment: You are not fully answering the questions. Task 1 was incomplete and included irrelevant points. Task 2 only answered half of the question.
  2. Structure and Organization: Your writing lacks a clear structure and logical flow. Both tasks need clear paragraphs, each with a single focus.
  3. Development of Ideas: Your points are often stated but not explained or supported with specific examples.
  4. Language: Your vocabulary and sentence structures are too simple and repetitive for a higher score.

Your 3-Step Plan to Achieve Band 6.5

Step 1: Master Structure, Clarity, and Organization

This is the most important step. A clear structure makes your writing easy to follow.

  • Strategy 1: Always Plan First. Before you write, spend 2-3 minutes creating a simple plan. This is the best way to ensure your writing is organized.
    • Task 1 Plan: Intro / Overview / Body 1 / Body 2.
    • Task 2 Plan: Intro (with your opinion) / Body 1 (reasons why) / Body 2 (positive/negative aspects) / Conclusion.
  • Strategy 2: One Paragraph, One Idea. Each body paragraph must have one clear purpose. Start every body paragraph with a "topic sentence" that tells the examiner its main idea.
    • Weak: A paragraph that mixes ideas about cafés and fresh coffee.
    • Strong: A paragraph that starts with: "Regarding café visitation, this was the most popular activity in the majority of cities surveyed." The rest of the paragraph then only gives details about cafés.
  • Strategy 3: Use "Signposting" Language. Guide your reader through your writing with transition words. This immediately improves clarity.
    • To compare/contrast: However, In contrast, On the other hand, Similarly.
    • To add another point: Furthermore, In addition, Moreover.
    • To give an example: For instance, To illustrate, A clear example is...
    • To conclude: In conclusion, To summarize, Overall.

Step 2: Develop Your Ideas with Specific Examples

Your ideas need support. "Examples" mean different things in Task 1 and Task 2.

  • For Task 1: Your "Examples" are the Data! Be specific with numbers.
    • Your sentence: "But in the city of Adelaide it has changed a little bit."
    • Band 6.5 sentence: "In contrast to other cities, Adelaide presented a unique pattern. Here, buying instant coffee was the most common habit, with exactly 50% of residents choosing this option, a figure slightly higher than the approximately 49% who went to a café."
  • For Task 2: Use Real-World Scenarios. Make your arguments more convincing with clear examples.
    • Your sentence: "I will give the example of people in Uk mostly live in apartments or small buildings."
    • Band 6.5 example (for 'Why own?'): "For instance, in expensive cities like London or New York, a person might pay over half a million dollars in rent over 30 years without building any personal wealth. This financial reality makes homeownership seem like the only viable path to achieving long-term financial security."
    • Band 6.5 example (for 'Is it negative?'): "A clear example of the negative impact can be seen in countries like Australia or New Zealand, where the intense focus on property ownership has driven prices to record highs. As a result, many young people and essential workers, such as nurses and teachers, are unable to afford homes in their own communities, which leads to greater social inequality."

Step 3: Actively Expand Your Vocabulary

You cannot get a high score with basic vocabulary. You must actively learn and practice new words.

  • Method 1: Create a Thematic Vocabulary Notebook. Don't just read lists. Create pages in a notebook for common IELTS topics (e.g., Environment, Technology, Society, Health, Data Description). When you learn a new word, write:
    1. The word (e.g., Disparity)
    2. The meaning (a great difference)
    3. A synonym (inequality, imbalance)
    4. Your own sentence ("The growing economic disparity between homeowners and renters is a major social problem.")
  • Method 2: Read High-Quality Sources. Spend 15 minutes a day reading articles on topics like those above from sources like BBC News, National Geographic, or The Economist. Look for words and phrases the author uses and add them to your notebook.
  • Method 3: Practice Using New Words. The only way to remember vocabulary is to use it. When you write your next practice essay, challenge yourself to include 3-5 new words from your notebook. This will make them part of your active vocabulary.

By systematically working through these enhanced steps—focusing first on strong organization, then on developing your ideas with specific examples, and finally on actively building your vocabulary—you will have a clear and effective strategy to achieve a Band 6.5 or higher. Good luck!

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