IELTS Writing Feedback for Purichaya: Your Detailed Path to Band 7! ð
Hello Purichaya,
First off, a huge congratulations on
completing this detailed practice set! ð You've done some fantastic work, and
it's clear you have a strong ability to understand and tackle complex IELTS
tasks. This report is designed to celebrate what you're doing right and give
you a clear, focused path to turn those Band 6 scores into the Band 7 (and
higher!) that you're capable of.
Let's dive in! ð
Overall Performance Summary ð
Across both Task 1 and Task 2, you
have some amazing strengths! Your ability to plan your writing, structure your
thoughts logically, and use sophisticated vocabulary is truly impressive. Your
preliminary exercises show that you think like a high-scoring candidate.
The main challenge standing in your
way is a common one: grammatical accuracy. Small but
consistent errors with sentence structure, spelling, and grammar rules are
holding back your scores. The good news? These are totally fixable!
Here’s a breakdown of your scores:
- Task 1 (Bar Chart): Overall
Band 6.0
- Task 2 (Opinion Essay): Overall
Band 6.0
Let's look at each task to see how we
can level up! ðŠ
Task 1 Deep Dive: The Bar Chart ð
Your Scores:
- TA: 6.5
- CC: 6.0
- LR: 6.0
- GRA: 5.5
You did a great job describing the bar
chart about internet usage. Your structure was logical, and you picked out the
most important trends. You even correctly identified it as a bar chart when the
prompt made a mistake – that shows you're paying close attention! ð
Here’s how to make it even better:
- Supercharge Your Overview: Your
overview was good, but it focused a little too much on one group. For a
top score, make your overview a powerful, two-sentence summary of the biggest trends for all groups,
without any numbers.
- Example:
"Overall, internet usage grew for everyone, but while the youngest
group always had the highest rate, the oldest group actually grew the
fastest proportionally."
- Watch Out for Sentence Fragments: This was
the biggest issue. Sentences starting with "Which is..." are
usually fragments.
- Your Sentence: ...considerable growth in
internet adoption. Which is 50% in 2000...
- Band 7 Fix: ...considerable growth in
internet adoption, rising from 50% in 2000...
- Level-Up Your Vocabulary: Instead of
informal phrases like "went up" or awkward ones like
"marked to rise", use powerful, formal words.
- Try these: increased significantly, rose markedly, experienced a surge.
Task 2 Deep Dive: The Opinion Essay ✍️
Your Scores:
- TR: 5.0
- CC: 6.5
- LR: 6.5
- GRA: 6.0
Wow! Your planning, arguments, and
vocabulary in this essay were outstanding. The way you structured your
"partially disagree" position by first acknowledging the other side
(concession) and then presenting your own arguments was perfect. Your vocabulary
was easily at a Band 7.5 level or higher! ✨
The score here was mainly impacted by
two things:
- The Unfinished Essay! ⏰ Your essay was very strong but ended abruptly
and didn't have a conclusion. In IELTS, an incomplete task can't score
higher than a 5 for Task Response. This is all about time management.
- Small (but sneaky!) Errors:
- Sentence Fragment: Just like
in Task 1, there was a fragment (For students teamwork, communication...). This
needs a main verb to be a full sentence (e.g., Such service offers students
opportunities to develop teamwork...).
- Spelling: Little
typos like will being
(well-being), past time jobs (part-time
jobs), and thought the motions (through
the motions) can add up.
Your Top 3 Keys to Reaching Band 7+ ð
This is your personal action plan.
Focusing on these three things will make the biggest difference in your scores.
1. Become a Grammar Detective ðĩ️♀️
Your number one priority is to hunt
down and fix sentence fragments. This error appeared in both tasks. Before you
move on from a sentence, ask yourself: "Does it have a main subject and a
main verb?" If not, connect it to the sentence before it! Fixing this one
issue will boost your CC and GRA scores immediately.
2. Master the Clock & Proofread! ⏰
The unfinished Task 2 shows that time
management is crucial. Practice writing full essays in 40 minutes. ALWAYS leave
yourself 2-3 minutes at the end to re-read your work. This is when you'll catch
those small spelling errors (well-being, part-time) and grammar mistakes. It's
the easiest way to gain points!
3. Polish Your Vocabulary &
Overviews ðŠ
You already have an amazing
vocabulary! The next step is just to make sure every word is precise and
formal. For Task 1, focus on writing that powerful, two-sentence overview. For
Task 2, keep using those fantastic words like paradoxically, intrinsic motivation,
and garnered debate. You're already doing great here!
Final Encouragement ðĪ
Purichaya, you should be incredibly
proud of your writing ability. You have the strategic thinking and the
vocabulary of a top-tier candidate. The path forward is simple: master the
clock, proofread carefully, and fix those sentence fragments. You are so close
to your goal!
Keep practicing, stay positive, and
get ready to earn that Band 7! You can do it! ð
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