IELTS Writing Feedback for Purichaya: Your Detailed Path to Band 7! 🚀



Hello Purichaya,

First off, a huge congratulations on completing this detailed practice set! 🎉 You've done some fantastic work, and it's clear you have a strong ability to understand and tackle complex IELTS tasks. This report is designed to celebrate what you're doing right and give you a clear, focused path to turn those Band 6 scores into the Band 7 (and higher!) that you're capable of.

Let's dive in! 😊


Overall Performance Summary 🌟

Across both Task 1 and Task 2, you have some amazing strengths! Your ability to plan your writing, structure your thoughts logically, and use sophisticated vocabulary is truly impressive. Your preliminary exercises show that you think like a high-scoring candidate.

The main challenge standing in your way is a common one: grammatical accuracy. Small but consistent errors with sentence structure, spelling, and grammar rules are holding back your scores. The good news? These are totally fixable!

Here’s a breakdown of your scores:

  • Task 1 (Bar Chart): Overall Band 6.0
  • Task 2 (Opinion Essay): Overall Band 6.0

Let's look at each task to see how we can level up! 💊


Task 1 Deep Dive: The Bar Chart 📊

Your Scores:

  • TA: 6.5
  • CC: 6.0
  • LR: 6.0
  • GRA: 5.5

You did a great job describing the bar chart about internet usage. Your structure was logical, and you picked out the most important trends. You even correctly identified it as a bar chart when the prompt made a mistake – that shows you're paying close attention! 👍

Here’s how to make it even better:

  • Supercharge Your Overview: Your overview was good, but it focused a little too much on one group. For a top score, make your overview a powerful, two-sentence summary of the biggest trends for all groups, without any numbers.
    • Example: "Overall, internet usage grew for everyone, but while the youngest group always had the highest rate, the oldest group actually grew the fastest proportionally."
  • Watch Out for Sentence Fragments: This was the biggest issue. Sentences starting with "Which is..." are usually fragments.
    • Your Sentence: ...considerable growth in internet adoption. Which is 50% in 2000...
    • Band 7 Fix: ...considerable growth in internet adoption, rising from 50% in 2000...
  • Level-Up Your Vocabulary: Instead of informal phrases like "went up" or awkward ones like "marked to rise", use powerful, formal words.
    • Try these: increased significantly, rose markedly, experienced a surge.

Task 2 Deep Dive: The Opinion Essay ✍️

Your Scores:

  • TR: 5.0
  • CC: 6.5
  • LR: 6.5
  • GRA: 6.0

Wow! Your planning, arguments, and vocabulary in this essay were outstanding. The way you structured your "partially disagree" position by first acknowledging the other side (concession) and then presenting your own arguments was perfect. Your vocabulary was easily at a Band 7.5 level or higher! ✨

The score here was mainly impacted by two things:

  • The Unfinished Essay! Your essay was very strong but ended abruptly and didn't have a conclusion. In IELTS, an incomplete task can't score higher than a 5 for Task Response. This is all about time management.
  • Small (but sneaky!) Errors:
    • Sentence Fragment: Just like in Task 1, there was a fragment (For students teamwork, communication...). This needs a main verb to be a full sentence (e.g., Such service offers students opportunities to develop teamwork...).
    • Spelling: Little typos like will being (well-being), past time jobs (part-time jobs), and thought the motions (through the motions) can add up.

Your Top 3 Keys to Reaching Band 7+ 🔑

This is your personal action plan. Focusing on these three things will make the biggest difference in your scores.

1. Become a Grammar Detective ðŸ•ĩ️‍♀️

Your number one priority is to hunt down and fix sentence fragments. This error appeared in both tasks. Before you move on from a sentence, ask yourself: "Does it have a main subject and a main verb?" If not, connect it to the sentence before it! Fixing this one issue will boost your CC and GRA scores immediately.

2. Master the Clock & Proofread! ⏰

The unfinished Task 2 shows that time management is crucial. Practice writing full essays in 40 minutes. ALWAYS leave yourself 2-3 minutes at the end to re-read your work. This is when you'll catch those small spelling errors (well-being, part-time) and grammar mistakes. It's the easiest way to gain points!

3. Polish Your Vocabulary & Overviews 💊

You already have an amazing vocabulary! The next step is just to make sure every word is precise and formal. For Task 1, focus on writing that powerful, two-sentence overview. For Task 2, keep using those fantastic words like paradoxically, intrinsic motivation, and garnered debate. You're already doing great here!

Final Encouragement ðŸĪ—

Purichaya, you should be incredibly proud of your writing ability. You have the strategic thinking and the vocabulary of a top-tier candidate. The path forward is simple: master the clock, proofread carefully, and fix those sentence fragments. You are so close to your goal!

Keep practicing, stay positive, and get ready to earn that Band 7! You can do it! 🎉

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Science Time Machine: Awesome Discoveries! 🚀 (āđ€āļ„āļĢื่āļ­āļ‡āļĒ้āļ­āļ™āđ€āļ§āļĨāļēāļ§ิāļ—āļĒāļēāļĻāļēāļŠāļ•āļĢ์: āļāļēāļĢāļ„้āļ™āļžāļšāļŠุāļ”āđ€āļˆ๋āļ‡!)

What is Matter All Around Us? āļŠāļŠāļēāļĢāļ„ืāļ­āļ­āļ°āđ„āļĢ? ðŸĪ”

Health Education Quiz: The Nervous & Endocrine Systems